I learn so much from the training I do, and yet nothing much happened with my book. Plenty of ideas, but how do I get them down on paper?
The doubt sets in...
In the past few weeks I have gone through all kinds of emotions. Doubt has set in and I've heard those little voices again.... "So you think you can write a book?" Or "Do you really think anyone is waiting for a story you made up?" And my all time favourite; "Do you remember, at school camp... everyone finally fell asleep when you told a story... and you want to write a book?!"
So I put off writing because, well, there is still so much I don't know. I still have so much to learn. And so the group sessions on Tuesday evening also became less important.
Oh well, I'll just watch the replay....
Those replays are really nice, don't get me wrong. I am very grateful that I don't have to cram everything into 12 weeks. But because of missing the live sessions and not watching the replays immediately, I am already 3-4 weeks behind. And writing is getting more and more on the background.
And then I feel bad for myself because I want this so badly! It gnaws at me, even more "nice" voices and I know that I am the only one who can change it.
The button can be turned
And then I think of you, those who have signed up to be kept informed of my adventure. How can I keep you informed if I do not write?
This past weekend, the switch was made. I want this, it is important to me! And I want to make time for it.
Meanwhile, I have caught up with 2 weeks of videos and workbooks. All kinds of story pieces, plot points, character growth and loose info for my story have been added and I am just now listening to Deanne again full of attention.
Suddenly she says;
You cant't edit a blank page...
All those individual pieces will have to be written into scenes at some point or there will never be a first version! And without a first version, there is nothing to edit, to rewrite and ultimately nothing to publish.
It spurred me on to action. I opened a blank page. Started with who, what, where and when and wrote a scene!
Phoe, what a job... those first words!
But I have done it.
It only gets easier from here.... right?
Well, I don't know if it will get any easier. I also don't know if this scene will turn out to be good enough to be in my book.
But that doesn't matter! The point is made.
I regain confidence in the process although I know that this feeling will continue to go up and down often enough.
That's just part of it, because as Deanne said: "Novel writing is a messy task!
I love it!